I just finished reading Rock On: An Office Power Ballad by Dan Kennedy - a very funny and entertaining read. In a nutshell, the book is an insiders perspective of the downfall of a major record label (Atlantic) described as equal parts This Is Spinal Tap and The Office. Thought I would share one of my favorite excepts, that is actually a “Bonus Track” at the end:
Dan Kennedy’s Six-Point System For Saving the Record Business (page 211)
- Rerelease CDs as “Very Deluxe Editions” - new packaging to include bonus DVD and two five-dollar bills.
- Revise “Online Is a Fad” speech from 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, and 2005 sales conferences. New title for speech will excite Wall Street: “Embracing Technology as We Rock into the Future.”
- Presidents and chairmen: If the last hit record you were responsible for was released over seven years ago, your new contract will be cut back to pay only $10 million for five years, plus bonuses, not to exceed $21 million total in salary and bonuses. Suck it up.
- Top excutives to maintain only two homes in North America, and only one in Europe.
- Please note: If you use luxury helicopter charter service to get out to Hamptons to “See a band,” please ask if anyone else plans on using helicopter that evening, and try to helipool.
- Overall: Adapt to getting by on 95 percent profit margin instead of 1120 percent profit margin.
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